Thursday, June 2, 2016

God and Friends pray to keep me going

You know why it's call the cursor?  Because you have to move it around and curse at it to find where it's hiding.

I am still computer blinded but can see better now and work some on pain pills.  A few days ago I screamed all the  way in the ambulance to the VA hospital.  I had to wait long for an ER bed and once inside I screamed so loud when the doctor just touched my eyelid that he finally gave up trying to open my eye for exam.  Afterward they sent me home by taxi.  Even wearing my tinted glasses plus a light shield, when the drive wheeled me outside into the Sunlight, the first beam hit me like a hammer causing me to try to jerk my body back into the shade as I yelled.  I learned something new, how rough it is for a totally blind person to figure out and maneuver to eat a meal.

Over the years this is definitely not the first time that 7 days/nights per week on the computer has played havoc with my eyes and like on Twitter with all my forwarnings they continue to send small text DMs which I can barely read and burn my eyes.  Once when very infected and oozing I ended up in the ER 4 times in 4 days.  One of those days I tried to drive for breakfast as I could really feel low blood sugar.  But there were so many tears blurring my vision I stopped only a few blocks from home for fear of the town square and all the people and cars to look out for.  I honked and waved for the mailman and he called for help.   Very soon an ambulance lady was holding up fingers which I could see clearly to count between blinks but the town square I knew was too dangerous to blink on.  Then I saw a couple of cops and became aware that I was surrounded by many police vehicles and hadn't even seen them arrive.

Please God make the People know how hard I am working, it's not comparable to any other job and I have known long hour jobs.  Once just as I start to take the first step down from the wing level platform by a F-16 I gripped the railing like a vice for in a instant everything was pitch black.  I pretended to be looking into the distance in deep thought for I was afraid to yell loud enough for one of the busy workers to help me down the stairs.  I assumed I would be fired for health reasons.

It is hard keeping my nerve.  A Secret Service agent warned me that I was bordering on arrest on harassment charges for calling to the wrong higher level number 4 times over a month and a half.  I didn't chew him out when he insulted me by suggesting a damned shrink for he is the one man after trying all means to get an intro note to Trump that promised to hand it to him.  The agents know I take strong medicine for my nerves so they make asses of themselves by advising me, and older and wiser man, on thing I've had a much deeper understanding of for years.

I know from experience that I don't have the guts to self terminate, plus sometimes it dawns on me that I really don't want to die now, just have a better meaningful life.  I always forget when under pressure and people are discouraging me into hopelessness that I have a really beautiful, brilliant fiancee who knows every aspect of my being without us ever being together.  It is her that keeps me going and after scrimpping 4 years I now have confidence to publicly announce the happy news that in a few week we should have all the funds for her to repay loans and fly to me in the USA if a rebout of malaria or something doesn't eat up cash.

Anyway one agent asked me what I would do if after so much work, pain and a change in vision Trump does not accept me as his partner.  Since he was still repeating the dumb question of whether I wanted to hurt Trump he didn't deserve a truthful answer that I can't do it to myself but the Mafia can and dump my body in front of Trump Tower.  Only fear of what my woman might do to herself would stop me from going to the Mafia.  And the bureaucratic questions which I finally answers "for the hundreth time NO I have no wish to hurt Donald and Heaven Forbid he get a dangerous paper cut from the damned little note I've tried for months to get to Donald always worried that TIME is short to get it to him.

Idiots!  Why would I hurt      Trump when I am hanging onto his coat tails tight for my political life???

Enough, you ALL surely understand me by now>  I have been ignoring building pain and hunger to finish explaining so you know how much I want the job with Trump.  Now I must fix my eyes and cook...bye, God Bless and pray for me.